Mind Matters — Self Care

Recently I have been teaching Psychological First Aid to those who volunteer after disasters occur. Basically, psychological first aid is “a compassionate and supportive presence designed to mitigate acute distress and assess [needs].” (Everly and Flynn)

However, in order to be a compassionate and supportive presence, volunteers need to learn the fundamentals of self care. As do we all!

So let’s explore self care and stress management in general here. Karen Saakvitne and Laurie Pearlman address self care in their book Transforming the Pain. Awareness, balance and connection are the key themes—the ABC’s if you will.

Do you have awareness of your limits, your emotions, your needs? Do you have balance among the realms of your life? In other words, do you engage in play time as well as work time? Do you rest? Do you have connection to your inner life, to others, to something larger than yourself? This means are you able to be reflective? Do you feel connected to others and others are connected to you? Do you connect with something larger than you? That might be God, or a Higher Power, but it could also be nature or music or art. You could ask yourself these questions as they relate to your professional life, your organizational life, your personal life.

So here is a mini questionnaire to peruse adapted from Saakvitne and Pearlman’s work.

• Physical Self Care
  How are your eating habits? Do you eat healthily? Do you exercise? Do you engage in fun activities, e.g., swimming or dancing or singing? Do you take vacations, mini day trips or otherwise? Do you get enough sleep? There are other questions; these are just a few!
  
  
• Psychological Self Care
  Do you make time for self reflection? Write in a journal? Do you allow yourself to be curious? Do you allow novelty into your life? Are you able to say “no” when you need to? Do you allow yourself not to be an expert and to make mistakes?
  
  
• Emotional Self Care
  Do you find time to be with friends and family? Do you stay connected with the people you love and care about? Do you love yourself and even silently give yourself some affirmations? Do you allow yourself to cry? Do you laugh? Do you connect with social causes larger than yourself and show care and concern through appropriate actions such as letters, donations, etc.?
  
  
• Spiritual Self Care
  Do you find nature uplifting? Do you have a spiritual connection or community? Are you aware of the non-material aspects of life? Can you be open to not knowing? Can you cherish hope? Can you identify what is truly meaningful to you? Do you meditate, pray or sing? Or, play with children? Do you experience awe and wonder? Do you contribute to causes in which you believe? Do you read that which inspires you?
  
  
• Professional/Workplace Self Care
  Do you take a break during the work day? Do you connect with co-workers? Is your workplace comfortable and comforting? Do you negotiate for your needs?
  
  
• Balance
  Do you find balance among work, family, relationships, play and rest?

Remember what the flight attendant always reminds us: you need to put the oxygen mask on yourself first before you can put it on the child or the elderly person next to you. If you’re not able to breathe, you won’t be able to help anyone else breathe either. Indeed self care is analogous to that oxygen mask. We need it so we can care for others.